Conversations from the Heart
Listen to live mini-coaching moments focused on helping people connect with themselves and others by speaking their truth with kindness and compassion, and listening through new filters. Get new scripts for stuck situations, hear new ways of responding to old relationship dynamics and get guidance on how to approach these situations with empathy, self-awareness, and effective communication strategies. Here, we emphasize understanding both one's own needs and the needs of others, creating safe spaces for vulnerable conversations, and finding ways to express oneself authentically while respecting others' boundaries.
Conversations from the Heart
#51 What Can I Do When Someone Hears Blame in Everything I Say?
It's a common - if painful - dynamic: we want to share our pain with another in the hopes of receiving empathy, but their best move is to try and fix our pain by finding fault with something we've said or done.
It is so hurtful to be blamed for our own pain.
In this week's episode, a caller asks a universally applicable question: "What can I do when I share my pain with my spouse and he blames me for it?"
Highlights include:
- 2:50 If all I get is blame, why should I even try to have the conversation?
- 7:03 How to ground a discussion in a micro moment
- 10:03 Scripts that help "waking up" feel pleasurable and not painful
- 12:05 Doing the inner work necessary for successful conversations
- 15:15 A script for getting to "Yes"
- 22:54 "I'm not trying to change you."
- 24:24 The role of our defensive system
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